I hope you’re happy now, Anne Hathaway,

American actress, having eclipsed the wife

of William Shakespeare in both collective

unconscious and Internet, which now, come

to think of it, are probably essentially the same

thing, but I hope you stepped forward onto that

blood red carpet without wincing, obliterating

the past with a smile that raises suspicions

of impossible tooth counts, Anne Hathaway,

American actress, by my reckoning you are

truly living the dream now, unhindered by bonnets,

mystery, and linguistic inventions, how I wish

I could be like you, Anne Hathaway, American

actress, but alas and alack, there is nobody here

to lend significance to my odd-shaped name but me.

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